Spectator-in-the-round

Run-of-the-mill characters from a worse play

Strut histrionically the ironic stage,

Iconic dumbness in stilettoed fancy-dress,

Made-up down to their pared toenails,

The farcical merry-andrews meander

Under the merrier patronage of ridicule.

Their burlesque antics have everyone chortle but I –

My mind's foibles invisible until then,

Until they uttered their pragmatic ineptitudes

Sucked from the paunchy thespian cow's udders.

I, being the only spectator reeling at the centre

Of this immense rostrum,

Look rather like the simpleton,

Quite impervious to their dramatic talent.

I am quite the Aunt Sally really,

Sullied by their sallies,

Quite the middle-of-the-road laughingstock,

The stock-in-trade jack-of-no-trade

That sends the frolicking cartwheelers

Rolling in the aisles – boy what a keeler!

Take me for a ride, jocular jokey jockeys,

For this slapstick world never is as wacky

As when you take turns to make it tacky!

Don't stop the marring-go-round,

We're having so much fun...

I promise that soon

With a red schnoz I'll return

And cook up my own puns.

In the meantime, my belovèd goons,

the shenanigans must resound!