Sifting

So many times I disagree

with what people say

for I look and think differently

I'm not like them they say

and with that I'm perfectly okay

for I've learnt how to feel

because I went blind

inside

and I perspired the fear

the dark glare of that black sun

which most are content to get away from

so often I'm just glad to be alive

and to be able to remember my dreams

even if more often than not they hurt

even if so often they drive

me nuts

for they show what I spurn

and place a mirror

before my face

for days and days I've been hard-pressed

not to say depressed

but I walked on

in parks

along pavements

sifting the sentiments

scribbling messages

on the bark of the planes

perhaps I've never felt right in my head

but I tend to smile the more

at the silly lies people invent

to thresh reality

to shred their dreams

and they stay at home, content

as I sometimes am, sometimes,

to stay at home when I'm low

and stay put in bed

all lights in the red

but then I get fidgety

I want to see to see

what the world's up to

I'm full of bad habits

and of all sorts of odd bits

but my girlfriend likes me this way

she says we could open up a shop

and sell reveries

and fantasies

to all those who stopped

thinking life's bewildering array

is not too bewildering not to do away

with the oddities

I say that in time we all can learn

to fake even our happiness

and to fool the best of friends

I've been known to talk in my sleep

I've been known to blow a fuse

that's because I've seen the deep

for me darkness has no hidden hues

sometimes I hate to be alone

even lousy company suffices

to feel at home

in this mad world

bar the deficiencies

Sometimes I just hate to be alone

no word

to express

the loneliness

even a word

can shatter

Perhaps I'm mad but that's how I live

and I don't forget to give

as much as I receive

and I leave

on tiptoe

before they know

I was here -

only one line

cut afresh

on a tree

mentions

I am free.