Tonight, my dear, tonight

Poem dated 03/08/2011, inscribed Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Tonight, my dear, tonight

Tonight we shall meet, and God nilling, God willing,

We may never look upon one another again.

For leave I must, for find myself I must.

Here was full of promises of hope and auguries of deceit –

I fulfilled them all.

You, my dear, whose lips I see trembling,

Whose face is see paling, ask me:

“When shall we two meet again?

I already yearn for thine eyes.”

All I can say at present is

Tonight, my dear, tonight.

For after tonight, the future holds

Far too many uncertainties.

And then you don't ask me,

The iris of your eyes as dark as the night,

The white of your eyes as clear as day:

“When shalt thou return to God?

He yearns for thy faith.”

All I can say at present is

Not now, my dear, not now,

For God has tried my faith

Beyond what it could hold.

You ask me, my dear, with your unbroken voice,

Showing me how good you have been at school,

Concealing your apprehension:

“When are you going to leave us again?

We live in fear of you dying far away from us.”

All I can say at present is

Later, my dear, later,

For living here and now is all I can do,

There and before I hold no regard to.

For live I must, for trust only myself I must.

Here dwell promises of hope and auguries of deceit –

I must fulfil them all.

Finally you ask me, my dear, shaking my hand:

“When was the last time we met?

It seems that we haven't aged a day.”

Suffice it to say at present that it was

Yesterday, my dear, yesterday,

For time waits for no man and never stops,

Carves its way until the last man drops.

Only love and friendship survive us,

Even as lengthened shades of memories.

I have to find a place that either

Quells the fire raging in the pit

Of my stomach, or that responds to it.

And this silent or violent land, God nilling, God willing,

I may well find tonight, my dear, tonight.