Mocking

You and I met on a rainy day

much like today

and your eyes were telling me

that you already loved me.

I didn't believe them.

And the cars swoosh past us

unmindful of us.

No chirp can be heard

for all the birds

have flown away,

hiding from the grey.

And sleep always comes late

and dreams hardly ever sate –

then you told me you could salvage

me from the ruins of an age.

That you could change this wasteland

of a heart just by holding my hand.

I didn't believe you.

Morning is mocking us, rain is mocking us,

laying on the windows behind many a buss –

When they consort to slur the moment

They never fail to disappoint.

You told me that one could love as many times

as you did and true it might happen sometimes,

that I was one of a million

and I could find no reason

to believe you.

A broken gutter somewhere is dripping rain

and my feelings are going down that same drain –

arms at the side, helpless, I watch time pass by,

dreading this greeting as much this goodbye.

With parting lips you tell of the beauty of death

and you can tell I am taking my breath,

smooth breathing in a soothing hell

and now the gods are mocking us as well.

And I don't know you as well as I wish

yet methinks this you do relish.

– I don't believe you.

And the gods we believe in never fail

to ignore us yet we suffer their bale,

day in, day out, until the end of our time,

guilty and innocent of a known crime.

And you tell me we can still make amends,

though you slept with two of my friends.

And you tell me to have faith in love,

that there's no feeling love can't fly above.

But I don't believe you.

I don't believe you,

for your eyes say something different

for the rain clinging, indifferent,

to your hair says that the day has ended,

that you can stop all that you pretended,

for I don't believe you.

And you have broken me down

without so much as a frown,

with a half-veiled scorn,

here, on this wet morn,

with your wonted absence

of finesse and elegance.

And yet, even now, standing crushed

in the rain with all sounds hushed,

looking at your wanting smile

I don't believe your guile.

You may disguise your sentiments

as well and as much as you want,

you may hide your nature

and come out as another,

you may mock everyone

into believing you're a man,

but being tried and true,

I don't believe you.

And you had better leave me then and there

in the middle of the rainy nowhere,

for nothing can change either you or I

or make us believe each other's lie –

both spent before this affair even started,

both broken before we even parted,

mocking the stars and the promises

and the hollow and the artless kisses,

and you had better bid me adieu

before I start believing in you.