Insatiable

"The truth isn't always beauty, but the hunger for it is."

Nadine Gordimer, novelist, Nobel laureate (1923-2014)


The full essay, entitled "Leaving School - II", is available here.

No man's land

Dogs pacing to and fro in kennels

ears and tail hanging low, whimpering,

growling

the thick darkness

slowly cowling the broad daylight

not your typical summer storm

it seemed a spoonful

would be darker than

the darkest night we ever knew

the people stopped ploughing

hand on brow as a visor

soon the sun blanketed

a sense of dread like a clod underfoot

a finely-polished listlessness

imperative to avoid panic

and the clouds, the clouds

amassing like billowed fear

and the dogs barking, barking

gravity warped the mirror into smithereens

people fell to their knees, prayed,

called for shelter

ran away from the epiphany

it was too much reality

too much science

too much life in one sitting

the last starless night fell upon the earth

tucked us motherly in

whispered gently, gently,

“good night”.

 

Another morning

This morning I woke up thinking of sex

I didn't touch myself lest I be sad

as when I fantasize about an ex

I always end up dribbling an aubade

The half-hearted morn attempt in the shower

got thwarted by my sagging embonpoint

I try to lose but more come each winter

to the point I no longer see the point

Lunch had me push the chair back for some space

I felt tired of eating while eating

nap on the armchair, telly face-to-face

threaded clumps where my elbows were sitting

– mug of tea and biscuit plate tummy-topped

outside a prison, evasion daydream –

The only prospects of glee I have left

life to be seen solely at the seam

At midnight I dozed off thinking of sex

I didn't touch myself as I was sad

as I knew there would be nobody next

I'll never have the proper serenade.

 

We were expected

We were expected earlier than the rain.

The swollen river had snatched the bridge,

crawled a yard out every time the

church bells rang. We hurried and hurried.

We washed up a month later downstream

when the brambles let us go, at last,

when we no longer were expected.

 

Waiting for the train

They were all poised to board the train

platformed, tweed-and-silk couples

with eager tickets and febrile voices

paper-ribboned among the common,

which even the back-from-debauchery

Saturday bunch couldn't outsmart

and from the three-pieced to the bow-tied

a thirsty dog licking the condensation off

their last-minute, soda-filled plastic bags.

 

Brute

This brute of a world this

relentless beast on the prowl

or so it seems to us

who bow down, one knee

on the ground and the hair

raised like briar on

the nape of their neck.

We don't believe in fate we

thought we would be safe

but we weren't we

couldn't for we 'drew breath'.

To us patient observers the

brute never ceases to pounce

every piece of beauty

to maul to shreds all

of what brought us joy

knowing doom was spelt within.

Wrought-iron wrench in the works

that's what the brute does

and is, and if for a moment

we fancied fighting back

we had sooner wished we had died

when last we slashed our veins

because this brute of a world this

 

outspoken

I was told to be out-spoken

but how can I be when

so often I've been spoken out

out of the playground

out off the bus

not a sound, never one sound

taken out to avoid the fuss

how can I be when

I'm so soft-spoken

never one word above the other

never have I given

anyone the f- word

or the n- word, even

when I was down-trodden

and I never bother

I just want to have fun

but people hold on

they hold it up against you

like you have to be outspoken

or they'll tread on you

they make a hell

out of a possible heaven

and you can tell

it's such a burden,

such a burden

speak up, speak out

step up or step out

I guess I'm more in-spoken

perhaps I'm broken

but I pay attention

I'm not a bespoke human

but I like to be spoken to

even though it doesn't show

even though between me and you

I prefer to be alone

and be unspoken

biding my puns

honing my lines

because let's face it

when it comes to words

I have more grit

and more guts

than all of you cowards

 

The Road

The crack on the windscreen

slithering mountain ridges

against the setting sun

occasional splinters of light

when slightly tilted

levelling with the horizon

the blue pine tree orbiting

across the tracks

dancing to a music of its own

three stickers bleached

on the sprinkled dashboard

those you find on apples

the collector's pride

soon night will fall

that seemingly endless tunnel

no star to be seen

as it is storms season

redoubling the attention

right side window

refusing to budge

let old rain carve trails

on the expoxied trim panel

soon a dashlit, intent face

and another, flickering with sleep

in streetlamp intervals

seeming impervious

to the inbetweenness

the there and there moment

and yet, and yet, some form

of flitting magic is happening

in that such-a-deal rented car

hurtling through the night

Yet unheimlich

"Es ist nichts schrecklicher als eine tätige Unwissenheit."

"There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action."

Maxim 542
 
in Maximen und Reflexionen (Maxims and Reflections (1833)). Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, poet, dramatist, novelist, philosopher (1749-1832)

Found in Translation

"You'll never know exactly what a translator has done. He reads with maniacal attention to nuance and cultural implication, conscious of all the books that stand behind this one; then he sets out to rewrite this impossibly complex thing in his own language, re-elaborating everything, changing everything in order that it remain the same, or as close as possible to his experience of the original. In every sentence the most loyal respect must combine with the most resourceful inventiveness. Imagine shifting the Tower of Pisa into downtown Manhattan and convincing everyone it's in the right place; that's the scale of the task."

Tim Parks, Why translators deserve some credit, The Guardian (April 25th 2010)

Link to the article.

It's a great read. I hope it will have readers -- any reader, because translation crosses the boundaries of literature to affect virtually every area of expertise in our endeavour to transmit and expand -- realise the importance of the work of translators around the world. Traduttore traditore, the Italians say. Well, stricto sensu there is no other way...it's a necessary evil (some would go as far as claiming that the translated work is a different work from the original), but in fine we translate greatness into a different idiom, and great translators just do that: shift paradigms...which reminds me of another quote, by Anthony Burgess: "Translation is not a matter of words only: it is a matter of making intelligible a whole culture."