Thursday, 18 August 2011

Righting the wrong and quoting the misquote


There's a thread on Facebook and all over the Internet that goes: "Shakespeare said: I always feel happy. You know why? Because I don't expect anything from anyone; expectations always hurt. Life is short, so love your life. Be happy and keep smiling. Just live for yourself and always remember: Before you speak... Listen. Before you write... Think. Before you spend... Earn. Before you pray... Forgive. Before you hurt... Feel. Before you hate... Love. Before you quit... Try. Before you die... Live."

There's no way the Bard could have said, or written, this. Nowhere are those words to be found in, say, the Riverside Shakespeare. Please people, don't be fooled. Shakespeare may certainly have passed a similar message in many of his plays and poems, but I really care too much for his works to let them be stripped off their insight or masqueraded into a worldwide-webbed farce. Robert Herrick has certainly meant this in "To the virgins to make much of time" (1648), following Horace in his Odes (1, 11), but remember that their message, similar to the Bard's, is always way more subtle than the one above, and stems from a willingness not to preach, but to warn and to share experience, insight, knowledge, and an innate passion for life. There is, in their words, as ever, more than meets the eye. I understand that many yearn for this kind of messages of hope or philosophies, but hey, render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's, and unto Shakespeare the things that are Shakespeare's.

Let's hope I don't sound like an old, cantankerous man. Carpe diem everyone, but don't forget quam minimum credula postero. As always, words are important.

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Sunday, 14 August 2011

Hi guys, here's a newer version of the chronology, with added sites and updated links. Yet again, if you can chip in, amend, update, fell free to comment and/or yell your discontent. Chronology of the Oldest Sites, Ruins, Temples, Structures Etc. in the World

Thursday, 11 August 2011

What Really Irritates Me In Men, Women and Poodles, and Other Sartorial Considerations Very Late at Night



Hi guys,

Today, I'm starting a whole new series. I'll be adding up as I go along and meet gems. So I guess that the quantity that I will add depends on the progression rate of humankind. By 'progression' I really meant 'regression', and if you ask me, a good few people would agree with me. Let's cross out 'good', right?


What Really Irritates Me In Men, Women and Poodles, and Other Sartorial Considerations Very Late at Night

I have always been dumbfounded by the very short-term memory of men who dry their hands after making pee-pee – that is, they have completely forgotten to wash their hands in the first place, as if toilets were the cleanest places in our modern world.

We really fail to recognise the gen(i)us of the homo automobilis who not only swerves onto the same lane of an incoming pedestrian, but accelerates.

Surpassing him in stupidity might undeniably be the pre-pubescent brat or the pre-adolescent pimple-ish jejune fille who is wearing outrageous make-up that would deter even the most ruttish mandrill baboon and who unashamedly allows her phone to play that latest Lady Gaga ringtone full blast in a cinema and then picks up the phone to resume the savvy narration of the latest piece of gossip her friend could lay her hand on.

Another palatable delicacy is served by the mosquito who basely awaits the cover of night to lash out at any patch of skin we might have foolishly left uncovered. Which triggers the question: “What could be more nerve-racking than a mosquito hovering an inch above your ear?” To which I would answer: “It would be knowing that there is a mosquito hovering an inch above your ear but no longer hearing it buzz” – which means either landing on the said patch of skin (I defy anyone to deny having then slapped his or her face with forceful rage) or the desertion because of the absence of said patch of skin. The incommoding itchiness and rash one commonly experiences a few minutes later sadly points out to the former.

People who light a cigarette right under a “No Smoking” sign make me go bananas. They cannot only read, they also cannot feign casualness convincingly. The rogues smirk. I could shove the aforementioned cigarette up their nostril.

If someone could come up with a simple, one-step guide on how to walk in a crowd, I would do whatever is in my power to have him or her canonised. People usually roam the malls just like they visit a museum: mildly interested as they are by the exhibits, they might approach the caption in a genuine effort to know what's going on inside that frame but lo! they suddenly step back, abruptly change direction or stop and stare in every direction like a chicken that has just found a knife, clearly disorientated by the amount of reading the naive curator expects them to do. Needless to say that they usually disrupt the flow of the perambulation, i.e. bump into you and give you the same look as a rabbit caught in the headlights' glare. They usually reassure themselves by rushing off to the nearest highlight available, i.e. the grand opening sale at the new Gap outlet.

People who pass in front of everyone in a queue because they are “busy” should be kindly reminded that apes and chimpanzees – as have many species, but I picked apes and chimps as they will prove my point in a more efficacious way as they are deemed “stupid” and “irrelevant” by those same people – have a millennial sense of order and an innate discipline.

So-called uptown girls carrying a handbag the size of a two-week-holiday suitcase would only look ridiculous were it not for their high, infuriating propensity at giggling, gloating and making loud borborygmi while sipping the last dregs of a Mocha Frappuccino with their straw at a Starbucks terrace.

Poodles have been used as gun-dogs for hundreds of years – may I ask where did man go wrong, as nowadays most poodles seem to have lost both their survival instinct entirely, along with their self-esteem? Could it be because their loins are clipped bare and clad in briefs, that their paws are shod with genuine leather shoes? Where are now the barking packs of poodles roaming the Wild?

Men picking their nose whilst they think no one is looking is another feature that would have me climb up the curtains. They would indeed be excused, thinking they were going about their business unnoticed, only if the said business were taking less than five minutes, if they weren't so carefully and conscientiously inspecting their findings, i.e. the sticky content of their nasal cavities and if they did not try to discard the said sticky content in some conspicuous location near us. Rarely are those three conditions unfulfilled.

The pigeons, usually the club-footed, the one-legged, the bandy-legged, the one-eyed and the just-been-hit-by-a-bus specimens, which flock at strategic locations to wilfully – I maintain it and I'm ready to prove my point to anyone in situ – shell whatever is under them may receive the palm of the species bearing the closest resemblance to some human beings, minus the survival instinct, much alike that of the aforementioned poodle. I. Hate. Pigeons.

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Hidden


Hidden is the meaning behind the words.
Inscriptions chiseLled in the wind-beaten rocks,
Núra I erumessë yassë ilya coivië ná fantaina quildenen.

Some hidden God is bidding its time.
?&#g&*#c& w/‹‹ b& h/s, ߆†#. Pu#/∫&d sh*‹‹ b& th& cr/m&.
Soon means notHing shorter Than an Aeon when one is eterNal.

HiDDen Away in the parchments is the Revelation.
It was decrypted from clay tablets by a great mind,
ˎhturt eht edrehpic dna rorrim a htiw etorw ohW
بحيث لا شيء ولكن الباحث المثابرة تكشف عن ذلك.

... --- -- . -.-. .- .-.. .-.. .. - .-.. .. --. .... - --..-- --- - .... . .-. ... -.-. .- .-.. .-.. .. - - .-. ..- - .... .-.-.-
16-15-61-118-1744-2113-21-219/20-201-1722-31-1010-?-212-?-1140/41-(1168x2)-179-310-2342/41-128-?-111-109-?-11-1015-?-712-126-513-115-?-2041-141

SecretS lying in the Alpha or in images of Ra
Gátur og leyndardóma sem hylja fyrir okkur.

MEssages are thought to riddle the nights –
Patterns draWn by the hand of Fate Itself –
Shapes withiN shapes like Déjà-vu or déjà-su
Superimpositions Of the details none notices
But those Who stare at the Space between The pictures.

oN tHE OThER SIDE OF THE ELeMENTS
Lie the mute constellations orienting to the TRUTH.



Nota bene: Treasures are worth both the efforts put in their concealment and the magnitude of the codes that seal them. Human hearts obey the same laws.

Silly little details

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